Pet stories are really very tedious. Almost as tedious as pet owners.
I can say this with a matter of quasi-authority because, for the better part of three years, Diane and I CHOSE not to have a dog.
We were going to be BETTER than pet owners. We were going to be FREE.
We were going to TRAVEL. And we were going to stay out longer than six or eight hours without the nagging feeling that we had to get home. To the dog.
We were not going to reflexively replace our beloved dog with another dog because the beloved dog was so sorely missed that what else could possibly stand it her stead?
Besides, raging debate about whether dogs are parasitic to humans was not lost on us. Of course dogs are parasites! Only cuter and more cunning in their ability to weasel human food from their people.
No more begging and conniving parasites for us!
The more firm we stood on our decision, the more we grew suspicious of dog and cat and pet owners. We even admit strains of suspicion if not downright contempt for dog owners!
Look at the way they utterly cave, cooing and giggling and talking endlessly about the antics and adorable-isms of their pets. Grown-ass people placing their dogs on figurative pedestals — doggy gods and goddesses that interrupt sleep, conversations, meals, vacations …
JFC! Enough with people and their dogs!
Until we realized … we were idiots.
For three years, we tasted freedom. We were without restrictions. We tinkered with a feeling of superiority. We did what we wanted when we wanted.
And it sucked.
The more time went on, the less life there was in the house. Empty, really. A sad commentary on our inability to really spark up the place, just the two of us, reading, working, cooking, halfway watching a dopey streaming series before quitting.
Most striking? The floors of our home were boring. The rooms too quiet. Nothing scampering around or getting into trouble or laying about in oddly compelling poses — legs akimbo or a head cocked in a position never before seen or appreciated.
Life was stone cold gray with no doleful eyes staring up at us with great wanting and need.
What was wrong with us? We knew.
Labor Day came and went when we realized: Before winter sets in and training grew apocalyptic around snow banks and sub-zero temps, it was time. Puppy!
We suddenly had to get a puppy with such an incredible surge of urgency that we got the first adorable puppy we could find.
Research? Ha!
Consideration for the pros and cons of this type of dog over that type of dog? Who cares!
We went and got the first thing smoking. A Mauxie. Never heard of one? Don’t worry. Neither did we.
Little Cindy Lou Who is a Dachshund and Maltese mix who started off with us 4 pounds and figures to fair very poorly in the inhuman and in-canine weather of upstate New York.
But who the hell cares? We’ll head south! Anything for the puppy!
And yes. It’s designer dog in a world of mutts needing homes. GUILTY as charged! Here’s our donation to the ASPCA and Estherville Animal Rescue and Save The Children and St. Judes and John Fetterman, dog lover for U.S. Senate.
Me & Di & our daughter are back in business! We’re delirious pet owners who spend hours
playing with the puppy
petting the puppy
training the puppy
laughing at the puppy
feeding the puppy
walking the puppy
talking about the puppy
worrying about the puppy
being exasperated with the puppy
taking pictures of the puppy
and then try not to post too many pictures of the puppy because we know!
We look and act like complete idiots. We could NOT be happier.
Life has been restored. The floor is abuzz. Our hearts are full. Our sleep is interrupted. Our collective IQ has dropped about 78 points. We don’t care!
I think we’re almost ready for a new baby!
Congratulations!
Haven't had the chance to meet Cindy Lou but am looking forward to it. I remember My Last Dog for late-night pickups (with new fleas) after a business trip, at a favorite aunt's house near JFK, and having to inter-act with every dog walker in town, so we have kept to our promise. But Cindy Lou is so cute -- I love the link of her watching a dog on TV -- that I can understand your familial joy. She is a cutie!